Dignity of Risk,
by theamazinJ
I make my choices,
and so do you,
I make my choices,
and they are mine.
My choices are good,
my choices are poor,
but so are yours, either good or poor.
I get to choose
as you choose for your own.
There is a thing called Dignity of Risk,
and everyone gets to decide for themselves.
Regardless of what you say,
regardless of what you think,
and everything that is said,
everything that is done,
and everything that is experienced.
No one can say this, no one can say that,
and everyone gets their way
to do, to say, and experience based on what they feel at the moment.
Self-determination is not radical, it's interdependence, it's life.
When someone has a direction for themselves,
they get to choose, and by choosing they get to live,
and by living,
everyone has their choices to live with their own conditions
that serve them well with their own opinions and what they want to learn,
everyone has their choices to live in inclusion or not,
everyone gets choices to live under their own conditions
independent from your own,
everyone gets to choose because choices make our own decisions.
You may disagree, you may not like what is said,
you may not like why a person was angry,
but you don't have a right to change the person's feelings
to make them feel for what you want them to feel.
Everyone has their own feelings,
everyone has their experiences why they felt they needed to do things,
and no one has a right to cause pain or even more pain for that matter
to anyone
while causing the person suffering or worse to leave.
Everyone has the pain,
the pain of the experiences we live,
the excitement and thrills of every experience we live,
and the many many interactions of people we get to meet every day
if we choose to do so.
It takes guts to live on your own conditions,
it takes guts to reject yours and yours and yours,
and never look back to what yours and yours and yours of every thought was,
in the end,
because in the end,
the only conditions you can choose to live
is your own.
It's your own because it's the way you get to choose for yourself,
no one has rights over anyone,
in their own right mind.
It's important because it's called responsibility.
Your own right mind is the right mind of the person living it in their own body
with their own mind that the person gets to choose no matter what.
On this new year approaching,
the mind is bolder, the body is intense, and the spirit is more golden,
because everyone gets to choose,
whether anyone else likes that or not,
and everyone gets to make their own mistakes,
and everyone gets to decide at the moment what is right for them.
You and you and you, even decided things that was poor or poorer too,
and everyone still likes to tell even more so,
but it really is up to the person, the individual, the citizen living in this world,
who gets to choose what is right for them.
Don't get angry, don't get sad, just be happy for your own life,
your own conditions you choose, and stop paying attention to other conditions.
Self-determination beholds the gate to open and the door
to the extraordinaire of our genre of fate,
and our genre of the life we get to live
to the destiny we leave with at the end years and years later.
Amen.
Showing posts with label self-determination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-determination. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
Sunday, August 27, 2017
A Poem Called "A Journey toward Nirvana"
A Journey toward Nirvana,
by theamazinJ
My journey started years ago
the day I became a thought, a desire, a thing, a person,
I left a couple of years ago
particularly in the middle of the night
the way the buddha did years ago, centuries ago,
a whole thousands of years ago,
I felt the need for nirvana always in my life.
My need to see beyond,
my need for tranquility,
humility,
different perspective from the selfishness, objectifications, greed, jealousies,
feeling like a burden
I grew up to in my life.
My journey toward a selfless life I've tried to express
all my life,
led me to a journey a couple of years ago
that instead of leading to different perspectives
led to more anger, more frustration, and not enough love.
Love, humility, and tranquility come not when others help us get there,
but by us individually helping ourselves to get there.
America became something different too,
even when it first started, but more so now,
America became medicalized,
pathologizing everything eventually,
turned away from love and more to lust, shame, and pity.
It lead me to my mantra eventually thinking of the future,
the mantra that leads me to think about
why too many people forget about the past, overthink the present,
and never have the future they want or desire.
Never think you're a burden,
never ever think this ever again,
Whenever you think you're a burden,
no matter kind of person you are,
whether you are a disabled person, a person of color, a neurodivergent person,
or even a person of a non-conforming gender, or even just a person different than the typical,
just remember what you are
even in times when you feel all lonely, scared, and never sure of what to do,
even when you think your goals are shot and dead,
even when you feel isolated and everyone gave up on you,
even when relationships become broken far too often,
everyone is a person, and no one is a burden,
everyone can live and be and do whatever they want,
if you are as highly sensitive as me,
then use that sensitivity in the positive instead of becoming overwhelmed, confused, and scared.
Not always complaining, not always arguing, and not always getting your back up with attitude,
because the only thing we can do for ourselves
is use our sensitivity as highly as it can be
as magnifying as we can see to attract the good we can see,
the empathy we truly have everyday,
and the desire to be more than the world thinks about us,
in the end,
it's all about what you want, it's all about what you desire,
and everything forms it's place
and sets the tone and setting
to how we live the rest of our lives.
We can flight away and isolate ourselves or
we can fight and move forward in abundance of everything we want,
remembering the mantra of FAME we can see everyday,
the FAME that starts with Family moving to Abundance of love and people around us,
having the money we can get to earn to all the education we most thirstfully want.
Nirvana is just something we all want to live with,
but life is tricky
and sneaks up on us
of all sorts of magic we may not think can actually surprise us
vividly and presumptuously or even attract positive feelings emphatically.
The buddha experienced nirvana through meditation and extreme sacrifice,
but we all experience life extremely in the way we see life without any sacrifice,
eventually reaching whatever we want or none at all,
always be yourself,
but change your thoughts and eventually
reach and see nirvana.
by theamazinJ
My journey started years ago
the day I became a thought, a desire, a thing, a person,
I left a couple of years ago
particularly in the middle of the night
the way the buddha did years ago, centuries ago,
a whole thousands of years ago,
I felt the need for nirvana always in my life.
My need to see beyond,
my need for tranquility,
humility,
different perspective from the selfishness, objectifications, greed, jealousies,
feeling like a burden
I grew up to in my life.
My journey toward a selfless life I've tried to express
all my life,
led me to a journey a couple of years ago
that instead of leading to different perspectives
led to more anger, more frustration, and not enough love.
Love, humility, and tranquility come not when others help us get there,
but by us individually helping ourselves to get there.
America became something different too,
even when it first started, but more so now,
America became medicalized,
pathologizing everything eventually,
turned away from love and more to lust, shame, and pity.
It lead me to my mantra eventually thinking of the future,
the mantra that leads me to think about
why too many people forget about the past, overthink the present,
and never have the future they want or desire.
Never think you're a burden,
never ever think this ever again,
Whenever you think you're a burden,
no matter kind of person you are,
whether you are a disabled person, a person of color, a neurodivergent person,
or even a person of a non-conforming gender, or even just a person different than the typical,
just remember what you are
even in times when you feel all lonely, scared, and never sure of what to do,
even when you think your goals are shot and dead,
even when you feel isolated and everyone gave up on you,
even when relationships become broken far too often,
everyone is a person, and no one is a burden,
everyone can live and be and do whatever they want,
if you are as highly sensitive as me,
then use that sensitivity in the positive instead of becoming overwhelmed, confused, and scared.
Not always complaining, not always arguing, and not always getting your back up with attitude,
because the only thing we can do for ourselves
is use our sensitivity as highly as it can be
as magnifying as we can see to attract the good we can see,
the empathy we truly have everyday,
and the desire to be more than the world thinks about us,
in the end,
it's all about what you want, it's all about what you desire,
and everything forms it's place
and sets the tone and setting
to how we live the rest of our lives.
We can flight away and isolate ourselves or
we can fight and move forward in abundance of everything we want,
remembering the mantra of FAME we can see everyday,
the FAME that starts with Family moving to Abundance of love and people around us,
having the money we can get to earn to all the education we most thirstfully want.
Nirvana is just something we all want to live with,
but life is tricky
and sneaks up on us
of all sorts of magic we may not think can actually surprise us
vividly and presumptuously or even attract positive feelings emphatically.
The buddha experienced nirvana through meditation and extreme sacrifice,
but we all experience life extremely in the way we see life without any sacrifice,
eventually reaching whatever we want or none at all,
always be yourself,
but change your thoughts and eventually
reach and see nirvana.
Thursday, June 15, 2017
A Poem Called "Token"
A Poem Called "Token"
I am me.
I am not your token.
I am not anyone's puppet.
I am not your way to live under your conditions.
I am not passing for your social constructions.
I am myself.
I have my own mind.
I have my own talents.
I am a disabled person.
I am an activist.
I am a filmmaker.
I am a poet.
I am not you.
I am a scholar.
I am a changemaker.
I am being the thoughts that come out of my own mind.
I am my own higher mind.
I read every day many books and articles.
I have passion to change the world's current perceptions of disability.
Token, I am not satisfying you to be something I am not.
Token, I am not fitting in as something you want.
Token, is what you are, but I am not.
I pass for myself.
I pass so you need to accept.
I pass for furthering the goals of my life.
I pass to be who I am, not you, or you, or you.
I hope you can understand.
I hope you can accept me.
I hope you understand my goals to being what I want.
My goals are not to accept what you want from me.
My goals are to be supported by you and you and you and you.
I have my own visions.
I am rising to the top.
I am forthcoming my energy to make the best of me.
I need support you.
I have a network of people who like me, love me.
I have a network of people who understand.
My films are great.
My new film ideas are forthcoming
based on what I read and the world around me.
I have my own way of doing things.
Passing is a masquerade everyone gets to choose what they want
and what they want the world to remember them by.
Some choose to pass for what other people want,
while others pass for what they are originally.
As an Autistic and Neurodivergent person,
I pass for me. I pass for me everyday. I pass for me all the time.
Passing is you. Passing is me. Passing has different choices.
What you want to pass for, I pass for what I want to as.
We cannot tokenize each other or anyone
to pass for the other, to pass for something you want,
or to pass for something else other than what we are.
Passing is genuine to the person.
passing is a masquerade individual to everyone.
and, passing is what everyone wants,
from passing as disabled, to passing as neurotypical, to passing as non-disabled,
passing can be misleading when everyone has their own neurodivergences,
their own psychiatric, neurological, and cognitive disabilities.
when everyone has what it takes when they are born,
when everyone grows differently,
and when everyone lives their life the way they want to.
People will understand in due time.
People will accept themselves.
People will open their minds.
People will live everyday with what they want.
Advocacy for being true to yourself,
sometimes makes people uncomfortable,
sometimes makes people angry,
and in the end, makes people think and process
that everyone can pass for their own,
as masquerade or ball showing the world
who they are, and what they can do, and why they need support.
This is it. This is me. and This is everything in between.
Amen. Thank you. And listen to yourself.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
A poem called "A Different Normal, A Normal different me, Different Kinds of Relationships"
A Different Normal, A Normal different me, Different Kinds of Relationships,
You tell me to use my spoons wisely, so as not to burnout,
you tell me to work on things of what you want me to work on,
when I am who I am, even with what I can do and can't do all the time,
even with being able to do anything at any time I am able to do it,
I can't do anything everything everyday, but I can do anything at my time.
I noticed I do things when my feeling to do the thing
I want to do is when I have the spoons to do it
and decide to focus on that thing I want to perfect or just want to do or just need something to do to feel good,
Disability is a thing, it exists, and we have to accept
the things we do, things we don't do, and things we have the spoons for to do the thing we are doing,
I am different, yes, and most importantly, I am disabled and able,
I able to do things on my time, when I am ready, and when I have ambition, and when I have determination to do it,
My normal is different from you, different to you, and very potent to my life,
I can do, I do need support, but I don't need you to tell me or what you think I can and can't do,
Support is different because support is helping someone like me achieve self-determination of what I want to do, of what I need to do, when I am ready to do it,
Support is giving me the time to live on my own in my own living area with my own things and seeing you when I we have time for each other,
Support is giving me the opportunity to do what I want and what I choose for myself and supporting me while doing it,
even when I am writing something on my own, even when I am doing art, even when I am creating film, even when I am reading on my own, or even when I just need space,
Support is giving not what you think, it is not giving me love when you think you want to give it, but reading me well enough to know when I want it,
Support is giving you love when I feel you want it,
Support is not telling me rather just giving me the opportunity to talk about certain things that are hard for me to talk about,
Support is not telling me, and thinking I just don't know and am told, and support is being included in conversations about me,
Support is great when I am supported and not told, supported and loved, supported and can talk to you about things that are hard for me to make it easier,
support is when my anxiety is eased because I don't feel pressured, I don't feel told, and I am feeling in control,
I love my support regardless who you are,
I need support in certain areas just the way anyone else needs support in those areas, so just give me a chance to tell you what support I need and when I need it,
and I will listen and know when and who can support at the time,
Being told is not a good feeling, being told makes me feel out of control, being told I can't connect with everyone is limiting me, being told is being out of control,
I need your support and finally understanding,
I need your support so that I don't walk away in pain when I feel you don't understand and am low on spoonful energy, and need time to reconvene myself to you, or even when I feel hurt,
even when you don't understand why I am walking away even for a day or even sometimes longer than that,
It does not mean I don't love you, and it does not mean I don't care, it just means I need time because of the way you approach me or the way you understand things about me makes me cringe,
I need your support so that you know the love we give to each other when we all need love,
I need your support.
I know I left you at times, some longer than others, but I need your support, not your telling me, and not your ridiculing me, with easing on sarcasm, and definitely not your abrading me as if I feel like a nothing,
I am a person too even though I am disabled, even with being autistic, or even with my anxiety, or even with my sensory system, or even with my way of understanding the world,
or even with my way of feeling for you,
because I love you, I love all of you,
I love the way everyone loves me.
I am grateful for the love for me.
Support is when my life is not empty, and I have someone to go to talk with about something may be hard to handle at the moment
ultimately giving me the power to make my decision as the decision maker in my life.
I have services that give me my support workers, that give me my broker, that give me an agency too, that give me someone looking over my money I get for my services,
but that does not mean I need to be told, I just have a team of whoever wants to support me any time I need it and give me the time.
I love you, I love everyone because I am loved by all, loved by everyone.
I left you for a reason that left me needing my space away to have enough spoons to deal with you and think about ways you can better support me,
I needed this because you seemed to not understand, you seemed to think you knew everything even without listening to my thoughts, my opinions, my ideas, my creativeness,
and my learning about history and knowing how I feel and what I believe to make the world a better place,
You may not understand how I want to make a better place, you may not understand my art, but I do understand and have a sense of what I want.
While I left you because I felt like everyone left me in the dust without any support without any kind of things I owned before and needed to go back to the family who I needed space from at the time I walked away with you who tried to help me at the time
so I can get my spoonful energy back and reconvene myself to the world,
I know I hurt many people, I know I hurt by not talking that much to first the family in my life, and being silent to all a way long time,
I know I triggered everyone from either leaving without letting anyone know to triggering in many other ways,
when it comes to triggers, we can love and be loved, but there needs to be communication in every relationship especially when communication gives and creates agreements of supported decision making within those relationships I choose to have agreements with,
between me and the people I choose in my life for support and what kinds of things I need for support even as a disabled person with being autistic.
Having support from people means my anxiety is low, means I am in control of what I want regardless, and means everyone understands me, and understands what makes me tick and what doesn't.
And with that being said, even with bleeding love coming from our veins, it just pushes us closer to the support we all need in our lives.
I hope you understand,
I hope you know I love you,
I hope you know what support really is.
And, most importantly, I hope you know how much I love...
And here is a song by Leona Lewis:
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3rIs2S2WH7M" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>
And Chasing Cars:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XaKr98ktoxU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
by theamazinJ
Thinking of you, me,
Thinking of what ‘special needs’ that really aren’t special because they are just our needs,
thinking like you think I can do things that are very hard for me,
and thinking you think I can’t do things that are easy for me,
I have a lot of energy, but I am disabled.
I am able, yes, but I am also disabled.
Disability is part of the human experience and everyone needs to embrace their life and love everyone every day regardless
because at any point, life can be over, or we can become disabled or more disabled even…
I can become more disabled any day like you can become disabled at any time.
and you will still see and think I can do things all the time even though I am disabled.
Thinking of what ‘special needs’ that really aren’t special because they are just our needs,
thinking like you think I can do things that are very hard for me,
and thinking you think I can’t do things that are easy for me,
I have a lot of energy, but I am disabled.
I am able, yes, but I am also disabled.
Disability is part of the human experience and everyone needs to embrace their life and love everyone every day regardless
because at any point, life can be over, or we can become disabled or more disabled even…
I can become more disabled any day like you can become disabled at any time.
and you will still see and think I can do things all the time even though I am disabled.
Normal is different, normal is fake, normal is unreal,
I am disabled, and pushed to the brink of my energy, my time, and my limits,
even when my spoons are low or my lifely body portrays you to think of what you think,You tell me to use my spoons wisely, so as not to burnout,
you tell me to work on things of what you want me to work on,
when I am who I am, even with what I can do and can't do all the time,
even with being able to do anything at any time I am able to do it,
I can't do anything everything everyday, but I can do anything at my time.
I noticed I do things when my feeling to do the thing
I want to do is when I have the spoons to do it
and decide to focus on that thing I want to perfect or just want to do or just need something to do to feel good,
Disability is a thing, it exists, and we have to accept
the things we do, things we don't do, and things we have the spoons for to do the thing we are doing,
I am different, yes, and most importantly, I am disabled and able,
I able to do things on my time, when I am ready, and when I have ambition, and when I have determination to do it,
My normal is different from you, different to you, and very potent to my life,
I can do, I do need support, but I don't need you to tell me or what you think I can and can't do,
Support is different because support is helping someone like me achieve self-determination of what I want to do, of what I need to do, when I am ready to do it,
Support is giving me the time to live on my own in my own living area with my own things and seeing you when I we have time for each other,
Support is giving me the opportunity to do what I want and what I choose for myself and supporting me while doing it,
even when I am writing something on my own, even when I am doing art, even when I am creating film, even when I am reading on my own, or even when I just need space,
Support is giving not what you think, it is not giving me love when you think you want to give it, but reading me well enough to know when I want it,
Support is giving you love when I feel you want it,
Support is not telling me rather just giving me the opportunity to talk about certain things that are hard for me to talk about,
Support is not telling me, and thinking I just don't know and am told, and support is being included in conversations about me,
Support is great when I am supported and not told, supported and loved, supported and can talk to you about things that are hard for me to make it easier,
support is when my anxiety is eased because I don't feel pressured, I don't feel told, and I am feeling in control,
I love my support regardless who you are,
I need support in certain areas just the way anyone else needs support in those areas, so just give me a chance to tell you what support I need and when I need it,
and I will listen and know when and who can support at the time,
Being told is not a good feeling, being told makes me feel out of control, being told I can't connect with everyone is limiting me, being told is being out of control,
I need your support and finally understanding,
I need your support so that I don't walk away in pain when I feel you don't understand and am low on spoonful energy, and need time to reconvene myself to you, or even when I feel hurt,
even when you don't understand why I am walking away even for a day or even sometimes longer than that,
It does not mean I don't love you, and it does not mean I don't care, it just means I need time because of the way you approach me or the way you understand things about me makes me cringe,
I need your support so that you know the love we give to each other when we all need love,
I need your support.
I know I left you at times, some longer than others, but I need your support, not your telling me, and not your ridiculing me, with easing on sarcasm, and definitely not your abrading me as if I feel like a nothing,
I am a person too even though I am disabled, even with being autistic, or even with my anxiety, or even with my sensory system, or even with my way of understanding the world,
or even with my way of feeling for you,
because I love you, I love all of you,
I love the way everyone loves me.
I am grateful for the love for me.
Support is when my life is not empty, and I have someone to go to talk with about something may be hard to handle at the moment
ultimately giving me the power to make my decision as the decision maker in my life.
I have services that give me my support workers, that give me my broker, that give me an agency too, that give me someone looking over my money I get for my services,
but that does not mean I need to be told, I just have a team of whoever wants to support me any time I need it and give me the time.
I love you, I love everyone because I am loved by all, loved by everyone.
I left you for a reason that left me needing my space away to have enough spoons to deal with you and think about ways you can better support me,
I needed this because you seemed to not understand, you seemed to think you knew everything even without listening to my thoughts, my opinions, my ideas, my creativeness,
and my learning about history and knowing how I feel and what I believe to make the world a better place,
You may not understand how I want to make a better place, you may not understand my art, but I do understand and have a sense of what I want.
While I left you because I felt like everyone left me in the dust without any support without any kind of things I owned before and needed to go back to the family who I needed space from at the time I walked away with you who tried to help me at the time
so I can get my spoonful energy back and reconvene myself to the world,
I know I hurt many people, I know I hurt by not talking that much to first the family in my life, and being silent to all a way long time,
I know I triggered everyone from either leaving without letting anyone know to triggering in many other ways,
when it comes to triggers, we can love and be loved, but there needs to be communication in every relationship especially when communication gives and creates agreements of supported decision making within those relationships I choose to have agreements with,
between me and the people I choose in my life for support and what kinds of things I need for support even as a disabled person with being autistic.
Having support from people means my anxiety is low, means I am in control of what I want regardless, and means everyone understands me, and understands what makes me tick and what doesn't.
And with that being said, even with bleeding love coming from our veins, it just pushes us closer to the support we all need in our lives.
I hope you understand,
I hope you know I love you,
I hope you know what support really is.
And, most importantly, I hope you know how much I love...
And here is a song by Leona Lewis:
<iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3rIs2S2WH7M" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>
And Chasing Cars:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XaKr98ktoxU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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