A Poem Called "From Visible to Invisible"

From Visible to Invisible,

theamazinJ

I am visible.
I am invisible.
No one really cares.
No one cares about what my ideas, thoughts, and teachings are.
Everyone around me is selfish.
Everyone only cares about what affects them for me.
And, only cares about themselves and what affects them.
They really don't care about  disability rights,
they have no opinions for the goodness of disability justice.
Everyone has their voice, and I am silenced.
Everyone has their ideas, ignoring my own.
Everyone has their talents, as I am the garbage to them.
From visible as a physical being to Invisibility from humanity.
No one cares.
No one gives a damn.
Everyone only cares for me to live under their conditions of humanity.
No one cares,
No one gives a damn,
I am visible but am invisible.
I am told I am stupid.
I am told I am pathetic.
I am told I am an idiot.
I am told I am unintelligent.
I am told I am brainless.
I am told sometimes I am r&^*%^(^d.
It is painful.
It is bloody hurtful bleeding out of my veins.
It is deeply painful and makes me want to cringe into a hole.
I just feel like the blood just drips and drips until it is dried out.
Visibility is important without others making us invisible.
I am a fighter.
I fight till my voice is heard.
I fight till my ideas are recognized.
I fight to show how intelligent I am.
My ideas are a part of me.
My art makes me feel great.
My creativeness makes feel happy and pure.
My story didn't end until my voice is heard, until it is recognized.
My story does not end until people know the hard work I do.
My story fights for disability justice.
My story fights for everyone.
My story fights to listen to people without the common eugenics ideas.
Listening to the idea to know that everyone matters.
Listening to the idea that everyone cares
and if they don't it's treason.
Listening to the idea that my life matters as much as others do.
Listening to the idea that I am no one's slave in their own mind.
Listening to the idea that being enslaved is also being enslaved in everyone's minds.
I am the person who matters.
I am the person with my own mind no matter what.
I am the person with empathy and care.
I am the person who will fight the social construction condition you only care about.
I am a person from Invisible to Visible.
I am free. I don't care what you have to say. I have a voice and it matters.

A poem Called "Bilingual"

Bilingual,

by theamazinJ

It takes effort,

It takes hard work,

living with an operating system different than yours,

living in the community,

without realizing what to do is right

and what to do is wrong.

Living with an operating system 

where I need to be bilingual 

and live in a world of a different system

of a different language

and of a different way to operate.

Everyone lives with their mind.

Everyone lives with the mind that they have.

Minds work differently.

Minds need to learn to pass physically.

Minds call their own names given by our parents.

Minds experience things differently in the physical world.

Minds learning different languages of thought, beliefs, and ideas.

Minds learning to effectively translate words and ideas.
When one person's language is different,
another is trying to translate it.
speaking means trial and errors.
voicing what we want
even with a different operating system,
even with a different language,
even with a different way of viewing the world,
because autistic or not, disabled or without known disability
only articulates humor, only articulates humility,
and only articulates the grammar of who we are.
Bilingual or not,
we are of different operating systems,
from mac to windows
or from autistic or neurodivergence to neurotypical constructions,
from human to human to human,
we are different, but we are human.
Being human means,
being able to interact with any other person,
it means being able to help others when they ask for help,
it means being deserving of things we want for who we are,
it means being interdependent,
it means respecting the people who brought us into this world,
it means falling for love without hating,
it means learning to let go of things that don't matter,
remaining the things that have always mattered,
it means knowing who really cares and who really doesn't.
Without the paining moment of suffering,
and remembering life, liberty, and the interdependence while in the community
because in many respects,
disability does not deserve anyone, but it gets everyone at any point in their life,
it can make people aphasic, it can make people seem emotionally out of control,
it can make people use a wheelchair, it can make people use a cane,
it has the comprehension to make things incomprehensible and incoherent or even irrational,
and not only that disability can make anyone feel down until they come out,
regardless of what differences the individual has or what kinds of setbacks it creates,
or how the glass is always ready for a drink until the final drop
which is just as breathtaking as the first sip.
Life journeys through adventures to grow every day
into what we want to be, and journey to the other side of wonder.
The only one to make a person happy is when they decide to open the door
of the closet instead of hiding away without even enjoying life,
we can be lingual into ourselves, or we can be bilingual with the world.

A Poem Called "Token"

A Poem Called "Token"

I am me.

I am not your token.

I am not anyone's puppet.

I am not your way to live under your conditions.

I am not passing for your social constructions.

I am myself.

I have my own mind.

I have my own talents.

I am a disabled person.

I am an activist.

I am a filmmaker.

I am a poet.

I am not you.

I am a scholar.

I am a changemaker.

I am being the thoughts that come out of my own mind.

I am my own higher mind.

I read every day many books and articles.

I have passion to change the world's current perceptions of disability.

Token, I am not satisfying you to be something I am not.

Token, I am not fitting in as something you want.

Token, is what you are, but I am not.

I pass for myself.

I pass so you need to accept.

I pass for furthering the goals of my life.

I pass to be who I am, not you, or you, or you.

I hope you can understand.

I hope you  can accept me.

I hope you understand my goals to being what I want.

My goals are not to accept what you want from me.

My goals are to be supported by you and you and you  and you.

I have my own visions.

I am rising to the top.

I am forthcoming my energy to make the best of me.

I need support you.

I have a network of people who like me, love me.

I have a network of people who understand.

My films are great.

My new film ideas are forthcoming

based on what I read and the world around me.

I have my own way of doing things.

Passing is a masquerade everyone gets to choose what they want 

and what they want the world to remember them by.

Some choose to pass for what other people want,

while others pass for what they are originally.

As an Autistic and Neurodivergent person,

I pass for me. I pass for me everyday. I pass for me all the time.

Passing is you. Passing is me. Passing has different choices.

What you want to pass for, I pass for what I want to as.

We cannot tokenize each other or anyone

to pass for the other, to pass for something you want,

or to pass for something else other than what we are.

Passing is genuine to the person.

passing is a masquerade individual to everyone.

and, passing is what everyone wants,

from passing as disabled, to passing as neurotypical, to passing as non-disabled,

passing can be misleading when everyone has their own neurodivergences,

their own psychiatric, neurological, and cognitive disabilities.

when everyone has what it takes when they are born,

when everyone grows differently,

and when everyone lives their life the way they want to.

People will understand in due time.

People will accept themselves.

People will open their minds.

People will live everyday with what they want.

Advocacy for being true to yourself,

sometimes makes people uncomfortable,

sometimes makes people angry,

and in the end, makes people think and process

that everyone can pass for their own,

as masquerade or ball showing the world 

who they are, and what they can do, and why they need support.

This is it. This is me. and This is everything in between.

Amen. Thank you. And listen to yourself.

A Poem called "Slammed"

Slammed,

You slammed me,
just for your own benefit,
you hurt me,
just so you can continue the story of your social construction,
SLAM!
I feel hurt,
SLAM!
I am bleeding,
SLAM!
I am CUT!
I am hurting, bleeding, and having trouble scarring the blood,
Whatever you say,
Whatever you do,
Whatever is said by you,
I try to say what I have to say,
I try to say what I want to say,
I try to say what I know,
I try to say what I learn everyday,
I try to dispute your social construction,
but I am SLAMMED,
I am hurt,
I am bleeding,
I cannot fathom what else to do,
I cannot continue what you want me to do
so I can live the rest of my days with you.
How dare you?
How dare you?
How dare you?
SLAM!
I am bleeding.
SLAM!
I am knocked down to the ground.
SLAM!
I am crawling on my knees
trying to find a place to heal.
SLAM, SLAM, SLAMMED!
I feel hurt.
I feel disrespected.
I feel as though I cannot live my life with you.
I feel tortured by this social construction
that seems to not be as real as you want it to be.
SLAM!
I know everyone likes me and I know how everyone feels about me,
SLAM!
I am not sure what else to do to show you this.
Urging myself to let it go,
urging myself to continue what I want to do.
Urging myself to be the selfless person I am.
Urging myself to ignore your lies.
Urging myself to just not listen to that social construction.
I know who I am.
I am very aware of what I want in my life.
I am very aware of things I need for myself.
and, most importantly,
I am very aware of the people around me who like me.
I just don't like your lies.
I just don't like what social construction conditions you want me to live in for you.
I am a good, humble, and open minded person.
I learn a lot every day.
Do I accept what you try to say?
Do I accept all of this from you?
Do I think you are not understanding me? Yes.
I hope one day you finally understand me.
I hope one day you finally get me.
I hope one day you  stop this social construction.
and, I hope one day I can live my life with you
without these types of social construction conditions.
Thank you.