A poem called “Anxiety Sucks”

Anxiety Sucks,

By theamazinj

What a crock,
You fucking jerk,
You slimey ass,
How dare you,
How dare you,
Yeah, i am talking to you ass,
Yeah you in my head
Who needs to shut up now
And let me just be who i am
In this amazing world.
That's right, you, you foul loathing evil little shit,
Anxiety sucks and this is what I’d like to shout it at it like,
Cause anxiety sucks or better yet the name
I hate anxiety for called Klong.
Anxiety sucks and i can do better,
As long as i don’t listen to it,
As long as I don’t adhere to its bullshit,
Anxiety is beezwax,
Anxiety tries to put not only me down
But everyone else between it
and around it.
I like you,
i like myself,
Yet when Anxiety gets in the way
It becomes a panic,
It becomes hysteria,
Mania,
It makes people mad,
Madness destroys
Madness can be negative with anxiety,
Madness can kill with anxiety,
Yet, it can be maintained,
Anxiety can be compounded to balance
Balancing my head, my body, and
My embodiment to identify who i am
without the rage anxiety causes,
but mixing anxiety with being Autistic,
and better yet mixed with other
psychiatric disability
and the thing you get is a
whole hot mess.
Anxiety, autism, and so many others
are there for reasons many cannot explain
many cannot accept, and
many cannot even understand,
so many in a society focus on
things like cure, things like segregation,
things like separation, things like dehumanization
even with so many doing the things
to silence voices, censor words and sentences and books,
yet we live in a world where
all these things we call disability are
not very well accepted,
are not very well understood,
and are not very well remarkably coined
as what as being a person
even though it is very much a part of the
human experience, the experiences everyone will go through
from time to time or every day of their life.
anxiety wants to please and if we cannot please,
then we are doing something wrong and anxiety says
everyone hates us, anxiety says everyone thinks we cannot do it,
and anxiety says everyone thinks I am loser,
however, it's important to ignore everything of these words,
sentences, and say we build confidence that
we can do it with whatever we can, with whatever we have,
with whatever ideas we want to pursue with whatever we
can do it with,
because anxiety is there and can be maintained,
to help us to push us toward actually doing it
and being ourselves with pushing ourselves
as anxiety supposed to do without getting caught up
with anxiety too much or too little
when when we just sit and moll becoming depressed
and asinine,
no one knows until they actually do.

A Poem Called "Humanity's Rhetoric"

Humanity's Rhetoric,

by theamazinJ

It's my own rhetoric,
different from your own rhetoric,
different from the rhetoric of the nonautistic, normal condition,
different from American conditional rhetoric
harboring eugenics which is now called genetics,
but different than genetics and science,
different from worldly cultural conditional dominant rhetoric
in the mass media,
and the less accepted rhetoric I have known on my own
and what I learn recently
and try to communicate
is a part of a unique different rhetoric
affixed to complete,
affixed to infinitely affinity to yours and yours,
but it's still different and unaccepted rhetoric
from the dominant discourse
many in the mass media,
many in politics,
and many of the lay persons even know...
my rhetoric, your rhetoric,
it's all about being the human being
we all were born as,
it's all about being the conditions
everyone wants to live by,
rhetoric of rhetoricity,
rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric,
echo it, echo your own,
echo the rhetoric you speak of
like everyone else does
if only to come to an understanding.
I live for my own,
while you live yours,
yours may be the dominant rhetoric,
while I am minority away from the dominant cultures,
embedded in disability culture
within my own body, my own thoughts, and the way I live
even as my own Autistic and stimmy and tic embodiments
experience the world
as part of my humanity
with my own way of centering myself,
with my own way I move,
with my own way of connecting,
with my own way of communicating,
and
with my own way of language
that many may not understand,
that many may not duplicate,
and that many may not know how to communicate,
because the rhetoric is different than yours,
different than theirs and different all around
both of us,
I love you, but the rhetoric is different,
even though the rhetoric we use
is different, but
it's unique to both you and I.
The rhetorics speak for itself,
rhetorics are a part of the human conditions
in the being of being human
in the eternity of time to live.
I love you, but can you understand me
even when I don't understand you,
and does it matter,
because if it mattered
my love for you and the world
would not be anything and everything
to me,
I love you, you and the rhetoric you speak of,
and the rhetoric different from you that I communicate,
but can we gather the ideas from our rhetorics
and finally understand each other,
if only with an open mind
like every other individual speaks
of their own rhetoric
around the world,
otherwise we would not be human.
Amen.

A Poem Called "It"

It,

by theamazinJ

I am It.
Whoever I meet is It.
Everyone is It.
The people we haven't met yet are It.
The people we have met are It.
And, the people we will meet are It, too.
It is a phenomenon we call It.
I am It.
I am the unknown.
I may seem scary with my differences than you,
but I am It and you are It to me,
so to be It is not really a travesty,
not really a catastrophe,
not really a tragedy,
not really a inspiration,
it's not really a frightening,
It's just an anxiety of fears of the unknown.
From anxiety, the It we meet
becomes the enemy the one to be defeated and
the one to be destroyed
because the It takes on what is different
It takes on what is not the same,
and It takes on what we hate to change,
ourselves.
Be It and be the It that can help change the world
in a more positive change we have ever seen before,
and tell the anxiety from the It to Shut up and listen,
since the It is just everyone and everything around us
different than the same,
different than you,
and maybe can change the way you feel,
change the way you experience life,
and feel more power in your heart
to feel the way you can give support to receive everything,
take heart, take your life in your hands,
and grow with It.