A poem called “Anxiety Sucks”

Anxiety Sucks,

By theamazinj

What a crock,
You fucking jerk,
You slimey ass,
How dare you,
How dare you,
Yeah, i am talking to you ass,
Yeah you in my head
Who needs to shut up now
And let me just be who i am
In this amazing world.
That's right, you, you foul loathing evil little shit,
Anxiety sucks and this is what I’d like to shout it at it like,
Cause anxiety sucks or better yet the name
I hate anxiety for called Klong.
Anxiety sucks and i can do better,
As long as i don’t listen to it,
As long as I don’t adhere to its bullshit,
Anxiety is beezwax,
Anxiety tries to put not only me down
But everyone else between it
and around it.
I like you,
i like myself,
Yet when Anxiety gets in the way
It becomes a panic,
It becomes hysteria,
Mania,
It makes people mad,
Madness destroys
Madness can be negative with anxiety,
Madness can kill with anxiety,
Yet, it can be maintained,
Anxiety can be compounded to balance
Balancing my head, my body, and
My embodiment to identify who i am
without the rage anxiety causes,
but mixing anxiety with being Autistic,
and better yet mixed with other
psychiatric disability
and the thing you get is a
whole hot mess.
Anxiety, autism, and so many others
are there for reasons many cannot explain
many cannot accept, and
many cannot even understand,
so many in a society focus on
things like cure, things like segregation,
things like separation, things like dehumanization
even with so many doing the things
to silence voices, censor words and sentences and books,
yet we live in a world where
all these things we call disability are
not very well accepted,
are not very well understood,
and are not very well remarkably coined
as what as being a person
even though it is very much a part of the
human experience, the experiences everyone will go through
from time to time or every day of their life.
anxiety wants to please and if we cannot please,
then we are doing something wrong and anxiety says
everyone hates us, anxiety says everyone thinks we cannot do it,
and anxiety says everyone thinks I am loser,
however, it's important to ignore everything of these words,
sentences, and say we build confidence that
we can do it with whatever we can, with whatever we have,
with whatever ideas we want to pursue with whatever we
can do it with,
because anxiety is there and can be maintained,
to help us to push us toward actually doing it
and being ourselves with pushing ourselves
as anxiety supposed to do without getting caught up
with anxiety too much or too little
when when we just sit and moll becoming depressed
and asinine,
no one knows until they actually do.

A Poem Called "From Visible to Invisible"

From Visible to Invisible,

theamazinJ

I am visible.
I am invisible.
No one really cares.
No one cares about what my ideas, thoughts, and teachings are.
Everyone around me is selfish.
Everyone only cares about what affects them for me.
And, only cares about themselves and what affects them.
They really don't care about  disability rights,
they have no opinions for the goodness of disability justice.
Everyone has their voice, and I am silenced.
Everyone has their ideas, ignoring my own.
Everyone has their talents, as I am the garbage to them.
From visible as a physical being to Invisibility from humanity.
No one cares.
No one gives a damn.
Everyone only cares for me to live under their conditions of humanity.
No one cares,
No one gives a damn,
I am visible but am invisible.
I am told I am stupid.
I am told I am pathetic.
I am told I am an idiot.
I am told I am unintelligent.
I am told I am brainless.
I am told sometimes I am r&^*%^(^d.
It is painful.
It is bloody hurtful bleeding out of my veins.
It is deeply painful and makes me want to cringe into a hole.
I just feel like the blood just drips and drips until it is dried out.
Visibility is important without others making us invisible.
I am a fighter.
I fight till my voice is heard.
I fight till my ideas are recognized.
I fight to show how intelligent I am.
My ideas are a part of me.
My art makes me feel great.
My creativeness makes feel happy and pure.
My story didn't end until my voice is heard, until it is recognized.
My story does not end until people know the hard work I do.
My story fights for disability justice.
My story fights for everyone.
My story fights to listen to people without the common eugenics ideas.
Listening to the idea to know that everyone matters.
Listening to the idea that everyone cares
and if they don't it's treason.
Listening to the idea that my life matters as much as others do.
Listening to the idea that I am no one's slave in their own mind.
Listening to the idea that being enslaved is also being enslaved in everyone's minds.
I am the person who matters.
I am the person with my own mind no matter what.
I am the person with empathy and care.
I am the person who will fight the social construction condition you only care about.
I am a person from Invisible to Visible.
I am free. I don't care what you have to say. I have a voice and it matters.